“The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself.” – Anais Nin.
Life is not only about looking for big facets of it, which are apparent and obvious, but it suggests to observe, explore and interpret the meaning of subtle hints hidden in small things; for- obvious is not always the truth as someone said – “Truth is sometimes stranger than the fiction”.
Life has been a learning experience for me. I leant and realized the worth of subtlety through my experiments with the life. Through these experiments, lots of mysteries unfolded, lots of myths broke, illusions faded, and I realized taking anything obvious at its face value takes me away from the Truth. The obvious may be fake – disguised to deceive, masked to misguide and programmed to prevent from seeing the truth.
The first truth I realized is that I have not seen myself till now and I can’t see ever. As I can only depend on a mirror to see how I look like. But mirror is the biggest liar. It doesn’t show me the true picture; it’s reversed- my right is left and left is right; right?
Hmmmm.. shocking, isn’t it? So when I can see anyone in this world, I can’t see myself. Oh God I am so under-privileged…
Oh I forgot to mention that "I" doesnt mean only "Me" in this article, it actually applies to any individual who agrees with me...
Another big question - “The Sun sets or rises”. A big NO. The truth is Sun never does, it’s the earth which revolves and creates an illusion that the Sun sets or rises. It sets the path of new beginning every day and the credit goes to the Sun… what an irony!
What seems truth may be totally superficial as stated in Matrix- “It’s a matter of belief”. Morpheus and Neo believed that the humans in Matrix are living in an illusion but they along with some of their mates have escaped Matrix and they are fighting against it to set all humans free. That was their belief. But the truth was stranger as revealed by the Architect in the last sequel- It was an illusion created by him in the minds of Neo and Morpheus that Zion is out of Matrix – though programmed to be out of the Matrix, it was actually very much part of it and the purpose of The One is not to fight against the Matrix but to destroy the anomalies in the Zion and build the Matrix again as a new start has to happen. Whatever they were doing was programmed to happen and designed by the Architect.
Rightly said – it’s a matter of belief. We see things, interpret them and make perceptions – right or wrong – whatever, but we all do. Beliefs are a matter of how we look at the things. Shoonya means cipher (null) but shoonya also means antriksh (Universe), which comprises of everything. It’s a matter of what connotation you perceive.
Another belief shattered when I experienced that there is no permanent strength or weakness. At times I have seen my strengths proving to be my weakness and vice versa. For example, having a sharp memory- I don’t forget things – worked too well for me throughout life. But sometimes, if I want to forget a bad incidence of my life, I can’t. It will pop up many a times in my mind, come again and again in front of me this way or that way. Just an example, there are many. So the obvious strength becomes a weakness in disguise and vice versa.
So what can be done to remove the illusions and to see the truth? First thing is one should accept that he is not the perfect and can be subjected to illusions. We all have perceptions – but we were carried by some incidences towards making such perceptions. It’s not easy to deny or leave anything which you developed over a long time. It’s not easy for to accept that your perception is wrong. Even if you realize it’s wrong, your Ego doesn’t allow you to accept. Thus the first and most important thing for you is to unfold the truth about yourself – ask yourself - What you are. To know this, you will face three questions, as my friend Surya asked me-
Are you what others think you are?
Are you what you think you are?
Are you actually else than what you and others think?
And I agreed that - I, like everyone else, have three facets-
I am what others think I am.
I am what I think I am.
I am actually what I am.
The Truth is MOST of the times not what is reflected by the first proposition - "what others think...”. Truth is also MANY a times not what is revealed by the second proposition -"what I think I am..." But the strange truth is ALWAYS exposed by the third one, Hard Truth- the unobvious which lies deep inside my soul. Let me add more to this construct. Our Conscious is related to the first proposition, because I, in a conscious attempt, have made people to think what they think about me. Subconscious manifests the second proposition, as it carries what I think I am. Actually, I am not like what I think I am but I want to be like that. So I am making myself believe that this is what I am. This works in my subconscious mind and I also make conscious attempts for that. So the above two propositions are somehow linked. To make people believe what I am, first I have to believe it. So I would keep reciting “the perception” about myself - to myself and in public too. You must have seen few people saying to themselves, but actually attempting to make others listen, when they make any mistake, like “Oh man! What are you doing?, oh shit! How did that happen?, uff! This is not possible with me, etc etc…
George Orwell once said- “Myths which are believed in tend to become true.”
People sometimes behave in a manner opposite to their basic nature to show that they are like that. I will behave like a detached person but actually I am emotional. As I perceive being emotional as a weakness, I'll present myself wearing a mask of detachment so that no one can take me for granted.
Many people write diary. I believe writing diary is another way of enforcing the perceived beliefs. And it is more dangerous than reciting. Not being cent percent honest and regular while writing diary may be too much misleading and can strengthen the wrong beliefs to the level of egotism. Also, not revisiting previous pages of the diary once in a while is a destructive habit. People change with time and so do the opinions too. Revisiting old pages can help in self-analysis while giving your beliefs a second thought.
People hide their inferiority complex behind superiority complex. They boast, show-off, and sometimes make fun of someone who is exactly like them, just to hide their inabilities, so that no one thinks they are like what they actually are.
So where is the truth? Truth lies in the unconscious- exposed by the third proposition. It tells me what I am. It tells me my real weaknesses, my real strengths, my real desires, my real dreams, which I may have sidelined because I realized/assumed/surrendered that my constraints (mostly avoidable with some efforts) will come in my way. So I have succumbed to my constraints as I gave up putting efforts and buried the truth, but it stays in my unconscious, pops up here and there to reflect in my feelings, nature or behavior.
Turning your back towards something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It’s just like you close your eyes and say that there is no light. Demosthenes supports this when he says-“Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true.” So come out of this illusion, suppress your false ego, move ahead and embrace the Truth that lies beneath so many pretensions, masks and hypocrisy. Enjoy the small things, observe subtlety, love the freedom, and free your mind from unreasonable constraints. And you will realize that your life has become too much worthier to live- for you and for others too.
Like Clarence Darrow says, “Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coattails.”
